In The Bonds of Love, Psychoanalysis, Feminism and the Problem of Domination, Jessica
Benjamin writes the following:
“… as the child begins to feel the wish and the excitement as his or her own inner desire, he or
she looks for recognition from this exciting other. While the child doubtless seeks recognition
from both parents at this time, the exciting father is the one the child wishes to be like.” (p.105)
Based on this passage, explain the text as you understand it and as it relates to the broader
argument made by Benjamin in the two chapters. (I attached the two files that need to be used for this essay.)
The goal of this assignment is to explicate a quotation to help you understand the following key
ideas of the reading:
1) Boys and girls both look for emancipation from the mother/caregiver through the father
2) Father’s reaction to boys and girls is different
3) The difference in the father’s reaction shapes girls’ and boys’ subjectivity (a sense of self
as autonomous and independent) and over-emphasizes gendered ideas
4) This difference in the father’s reaction to boys and girls is cultural rather than biological
To achieve this goal conceptually:
Use the quotation above to explain in your own words:
1) Why do boys and girls seek emancipation from their mothers/caregivers to achieve
autonomous individuality?
2) Why do girls and boys perceive the father as ‘the exciting other’ that will help them reach
emancipation?
3) How does the father’s reaction to boys and girls result in the support of boys’ subjectivity and
the squashing of girls’ subjectivity?
4) How does the father’s response reinforce cultural gendered beliefs about boys and girls
(over-emphasis on masculine and feminine ideas)?
• Make sure that each term or concept is defined using your own words!
• Make sure that you refer to different parts of Benjamin’s chapters (making sure to note the
page numbers) in order to support your explanations.
• Consult below the Guidelines to Reading Critically and Explication of a Quotation to help
you unpack Benjamin’s ideas so that you can then explain them clearly.
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