Someone from here revised my paper, my teacher still wont except it. He said the sentences aren't master level sentences. This is the last time I can submit the paper I need it revised the correct way. Im tired of wasting money!

Feedback from professor

You had many thoughts that were indicative of graduate level analysis. Please go back and review my comments above. I did also embed comments on your Word document. Please go back and review grammar and spelling throughout the document (there were still many errors that were not updated). You have some excellent ideas here, but I’m noticing a number of sentence-level errors. Before you submit your next paper, I recommend you try using Grammarly, an online revision tool available free to Walden students. Like a more robust version of MS Word’s grammar checker, Grammarly reviews your paper for grammar and other mechanical issues, which you can then fix with the guidance it provides. If you find that you have consistent trouble with specific grammar issues, you might want to visit the Writing Center’s grammar resources, or send questions to the writing instructors at writingsupport@waldenu.edu. Once you get a handle on these mechanical issues of writing, your ideas will shine through much more clearly.

Learning Objective 1.1: Describe market segmentation.:

EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS
3	Response demonstrates the same level of achievement as “2,” plus the following: Description shows unique insights into market segmentation that show even more possibilities than described in the case, with more than two examples provided.
Additional Comments:

Learning Objective 1.2: Explain the benefits and challenges to market segmentation and the risks involved in its use.:

EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS
3	Response demonstrates the same level of achievement as “2,” plus the following: The explanation shows unique insights into the benefits, challenges, and risks, insights that align with larger company goals.
Additional Comments:

Learning Objective 2.1: Explain the role of primary data in defining market segments, enhancing performance in segments, and in making market expansion decisions.:

EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS
3	Response demonstrates the same level of achievement as “2,” plus the following: The explanation shows unique insights into use of primary data that support strategic company goals.
Additional Comments: Good updates here.

Learning Objective 2.2: Explain the role of existing data in defining market segments, enhancing performance in segments, and making market expansion decisions.:

EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS
3	Response demonstrates the same level of achievement as “2,” plus the following: The explanation shows unique insights into use of existing data that support strategic company goals.
Additional Comments: Good updates here.

Learning Objective 3.1: Describe what a target segment means and the advantages of identifying a target market segment, as well as how to identify it.:

EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS
3	Response demonstrates the same level of achievement as “2,” plus the following: The description of a target market and the advantages of and processes for identifying a target market is clearly linked to strategic company goals.
Additional Comments:

Learning Objective 3.2: Using multiple segmentation bases (e.g., demographic, psychographic, usage), describe a target segment for a global product or service.:

EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS
3	Response demonstrates the same level of achievement as “2,” plus the following: The description of the target segment for a specific product or service shows unique insight into the case that supports larger company strategic goals.
Additional Comments:

Learning Objective 4.1: Explain how segmentation can complicate decisions about the marketing mix (i.e., products, price, promotion, and placement).:

EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS
3	Response demonstrates the same level of achievement as “2,” plus the following: Explanation shows unique insight into the marketing mix and the complications that segmentation involves.
Additional Comments:

Learning Objective 4.2: Describe scenarios in which segmentation may not impact marketing mix variables.:

EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS
3	Response demonstrates the same level of achievement as “2,” plus the following: Description shows unique insight into those marketing mix scenarios that segmentation may not impact.
Additional Comments: Good updates here.

Learning Objective 5.1: Explain the benefits created through the use of market segmentation.:

EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS
3	Response demonstrates the same level of achievement as “2,” plus the following: Explanation shows unique insight into benefits created that align with larger company strategic goals.
Additional Comments:

Learning Objective 5.2: Explain the potential risks that may result from implementing a segmentation strategy.:

EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS
3	Response demonstrates the same level of achievement as “2,” plus the following: Explanation identifies some unique risks that have significant impact on larger strategic company goals
Additional Comments:

Written Communication PS 1.1: Use proper grammar, spelling, and mechanics.:

NEEDS IMPROVEMENT
1	Multiple minor errors in grammar, spelling, and/or mechanics are distracting and negatively impact readability.
Additional Comments: There are still numerous errors in spelling and grammar. Updates were still not made (based on the initial submission feedback).

Written Communication PS 1.2: Organize writing to enhance clarity.:

MEETS EXPECTATIONS
2	Writing is generally well-organized. Introductions, transitions, and conclusions provide continuity and a logical progression of ideas.
Additional Comments: Spelling and grammar was not updated. Please see previous submission for comments.

Written Communication PS 1.3: Apply APA style to written work.:

EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS
3	APA conventions for attribution of sources, structure, formatting, etc., are applied correctly and consistently throughout the paper. Sources are consistently cited appropriately and accurately.
Additional Comments:

Written Communication PS 1.4: Use appropriate vocabulary and tone for the audience and purpose.:

EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS
3	Vocabulary and tone are consistently tailored to the audience and effectively and directly support communication of key concepts.
Additional Comments:

Critical Thinking and Problem Solving PS 5.1: Analyze assumptions and fallacies.:

EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS
3	Response clearly and comprehensively assesses the reasonableness of assumptions in a given argument. Response provides a detailed and compelling analysis of implications of fallacies and logical weaknesses in a given argument.
Additional Comments:

Critical Thinking and Problem Solving PS 5.2: Generate reasonable and appropriate assumptions.:

EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS
3	Response justifies the reasonableness and need for assumptions in an original argument.
Additional Comments:

Critical Thinking and Problem Solving PS 5.3: Assess multiple perspectives and alternatives.:

EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS
3	Response justifies selection of chosen alternative relative to others.
Additional Comments:

Critical Thinking and Problem Solving PS 5.4: Use problem-solving skills.:

EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS
3	Response presents compelling supporting arguments for proposed solutions.
Additional Comments: